


He's My Sun, He Makes Me Shine Like Diamonds

by tonystarkssnipples



Series: Young and Beautiful [2]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Break Up, Breaking Up & Making Up, M/M, Tony is a mess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-11
Updated: 2014-04-11
Packaged: 2018-01-18 22:58:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1445962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tonystarkssnipples/pseuds/tonystarkssnipples
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set five years after "Hot Summer Nights". Steve and Tony are seniors in college. When they break up, Tony turns into a mess and their friends attempt to put him back together in the only way they know how. That's not what Tony needs. Tony needs Steve, and he doesn't know how to say it. He goes on a self destructive path in his attempts to cope with losing his best friend.</p><p>Previously known as "Broken Hearts and Last Goodbyes"</p>
            </blockquote>





	He's My Sun, He Makes Me Shine Like Diamonds

Tony rolled over and groaned. His whole body was stiff. “JARVIS! What time is it?” he murmured, still half asleep. He waited patiently for his AI to respond. JARVIS was a relatively new addition to his life, and especially his dorm room. He had a lot of work to do before he was fully functional. “JARVIS?”

“4:27, sir.”

When JARVIS didn’t continue, Tony grumbled. “Morning or night.” Tony wasn’t sure which was worse.

“It is 4:27pm, sir.”

“Good boy. Next time remember to add the am or pm right away.”

“As a self improving artificial intelligence, I already have.”

Tony groaned again and rolled over. He almost fell off the bed but managed to brace himself. He swung his legs over the edge of the bed and sat up. “Fuck,” he grumbled. He hadn’t been this hungover since… yesterday morning. He walked over to his desk and grabbed the open box of Tagalongs, popping one in his mouth. He picked up and shook the beer cans littering every flat surface until he found one with something in it and washed the girl scout cookie down. In post-breakup mode he had gone around town and bought out every stand he could find of Tagalongs and Samoas. He had bought all of the Thin Mints, too, but he had emptied the boxes into the river just outside of town because Thin Mints were Steve's favorite and fuck Steve.

What day was it Wedne—Thursday? “JARVIS?”

“Yes, sir?”

“What day is it?”

“Thursday, October 16th.”

Tony opened the drawer beside his desk and took out a new pack of cigarettes and his sunglasses. He put the sunglasses on his face and left the room, not bothering to lock it. Everything was replaceable. Besides, no one was stupid enough to steal from Tony Stark.

Even with the sunglasses, when he stepped outside the sun was unbearably bright. He tucked himself into the only corner of the building with shade. It didn’t do much, but it was a little better, he supposed. He opened the pack and put a cigarette in his mouth, lighting it and inhaling deeply, blowing the smoke around himself.

He was vaguely aware that he was in nothing but the boxers he had slept in. There was a nagging thought in the back of his mind about the fact that he was out in public without a shirt, showing his scars to the world. He knew he looked hungover and pathetic. He was a piping hot mess.

What fucking ever.

He wasn’t sure how long he was there. He watched people leave and go back into his building. He saw the looks on their faces. _Yeah, I’m still_ _here. What’s it to ya?_ He wanted to shout at their pitying looks, but they weren’t worthy of his time. He didn’t need to fucking justify himself to them. Who were they? Nobodies is who they were. 

Even through all of that, it didn’t register just how long he had been there until he reached for another cigarette and realized that he was out. Had he sat there and smoked an entire pack of cigarettes? Apparently he had. _Good. Maybe I’ll die sooner._

He went back up to his room to find Clint, his roommate, reclined on his bed. “When did you get back?” Tony asked. He hadn’t seen his friend walk into the building.

“When did you leave?” Clint shot back.

“Around 4:30.”

“Then I was in the bathroom when you left. You didn’t lock the door.”

“Whatever.” Tony moved to his side of the room and flopped down on his bed. Since freshman year, he had created a tight group of friends and they had gotten a suite on campus together. There was Clint, Bruce roomed with Thor, Natasha roomed with Pepper, and that left Steve with the single. Steve and Tony had tried to room together but their relationship had been too conspicuous and the school didn’t let couples live together. As a fuck you to them, Steve took the single and Tony spent 99% of his time in there.

Well, he used to. Steve had moved out of the suite to the other side of campus.

“We’re worried about you, Tony.” Clint got up from his bed and sat at the desk chair next to Tony’s bed. “You’re a wreck.”

“Who’s we?” Tony lay down on his bed and pulled the covers up past his head. He could go for a nap. His arm shot out from his cocoon and he fumbled around his bedside table until he found the flask resting there. He tried to bring it under the covers, but Clint grabbed his hand.

“When’s the last time you went to class?” Clint asked, putting the flask on Tony’s desk and therefore out of Tony’s reach.

“I don’t know. Couple weeks?” Tony rolled over so his back was to Clint. “I know the look you’re giving me. Don’t worry, I can catch up.”

“I’m not worried about that. I know you can catch up. I’m scared about what you’ve been doing with your life for two weeks. Have you left the room?”

“Of course.”

“Aside from walking to McDonalds and the liquor store?”

“No.”

Clint sighed and left the room, slamming the door behind him. Tony got out of bed and rummaged under his bed for the scotch he had stashed. He couldn’t leave the good stuff out or one of his friends might take away from him. They said he was developing an _alcohol problem_.

Whatever.

He poured the liquor into the Frozen no-spill sippy-cup Bruce had gotten him a joke last spring and got back in bed. He hid under the covers again and put the straw in his mouth. The feeling was absolutely horrible, lying down while drinking, but he didn’t give a fuck. It would numb the pain in his head, his heart, his gut, and that’s all he was looking for.

He was dozing, the straw still in his mouth, when his covers were being pulled back and Pepper was standing above him. Her arms were crossed and and she glared down at him. “You’re pathetic.” She gripped his arm in her hand and wrenched him up. Natasha grabbed the almost empty cup from him and put it on top of the microwave.

“Shower, Stark,” Natasha spat. “I’m coming with you.”

“Na—”

“I’ve seen your naked ass plenty of times, Stark, and honestly I don’t trust you to do it yourself.” She grabbed Tony’s shampoo and body wash, a towel, and washcloth while Pepper stripped him. She threw the towel at him and he wrapped it around his waist.

“You’re a grown person and you need baby sitters,” Pepper grumbled. Shoving him towards Natasha who dragged him into the shower. She turned on the water to Tony’s desired temperature—this wasn’t her first experience with hungover Tony—and pulled his towel off. She pushed him in the shower.

“Can I close the curtain or do I have to watch you and make sure you clean yourself.”

“Close it,” he snapped. As soon as she had, he sunk to the floor and let the water beat over him.

“I know you’re on the floor and that’s really gross and unsanitary.”

“Don’t care.”

She slid the bottles of shampoo and body wash in after him and threw the washcloth over the railing. Tony heard her walk to the sink and hop onto it. “You have five minutes, max, before I come in after you.”

“Mm, you gonna be naked?” Tony waggled his eyebrows, even though Natasha couldn’t see him.

“I would be in my bra and underwear you pervert, and if you tried to cop a feel I would rip your dick off. Now shower. You’re running out of time.”

* * *

Natasha had ended up getting into the shower with Tony. He tried to blame it on the hangover, but he knew it was because he had zero self motivation. When he was dressed, Thor and Bruce took him to dinner at the cafeteria.

“Are you trying to kill me with this disgusting shit?” Tony asked, pushing the plate of food they had brought him.

“It is healthier then your diet of McDonalds and scotch,” Bruce noted.

“Says you. But thanks for taking my side. All of you.”

“We have not taken your side Anthony, nor have we taken Steven’s. You are Steven are both dear friends to us. It is just that you are in need of more assistance than he is.”

Tony felt a punch in the gut. “How… he’s holding up okay?” Tony asked. That hurt. Steve wasn’t a wreck about the breakup?

“We did not say that—” Thor started.

“But Steve has asked that we don’t talk about him with you,” Bruce explained. It was more of a reminder to Thor than information to Tony.

Tony being Tony decided to push his luck. “Do you know where he’s living.”

“Yes,” Thor admitted.

“Can you tell me?” Tony asked.

“No,” Bruce insisted. Tony tried not to let the hurt show on his face, but he obviously wasn’t as good at masking his emotions as he used to be. At least not with his friends. Bruce sighed. “Listen, Tony. Give him a few more weeks to cool off.”

“Do you know what happened?” Tony asked. He needed to know just how much Steve had told him.

“No. He won’t tell us.”

“Well, it was all my fault,” Tony grumbled. Bruce and Thor exchanged a look. “What?” Tony asked after shoving a bite full of mashed potatoes in his mouth.

“Steven said the same thing.”

* * *

After dinner, Tony’s babysitters decided to leave him alone for a few minutes. As soon as they were out of his room, he grabbed a pack of cigarettes and went outside because fuck them.

As he lit the cigarette he remembered quitting all those years ago. He quit because Steve hated it. When he was with Steve he didn’t miss it a bit. Steve was a better addiction, anyway. Tony inhaled the toxic smoke into his lungs, trying to force Steve out of his mind. _Go away you worthless shit_. Tony screamed at himself in his head. It wasn’t working.

He wasn’t outside long before Pepper was coming out of the building. “Hey, Pep,” he greeted, cheerfully. She didn’t even crack a smile as she took the cigarette from his mouth and dropped it to the ground, stubbing it out with her shoe. She held out her hand and Tony reluctantly handed her the pack and his lighter. There were more in his room, anyway.

It was like she could read his mind because she said, “Clint has removed all of packs you had hidden around your room. As well as the booze.”

He blew the smoke in her face. “He doesn’t know my hiding places.”

“Doesn’t he? You know he’s scary observant.” She proceeded to list each and every place Tony had hidden his addictions. He frowned and turned towards town. He had money and it seemed that it was time to buy more. “No you don’t. You think I’m stupid enough not to know where you’re going? You’re coming upstairs with me.”

He tagged along after her, knowing it was pointless to try to run away. She’d catch him in a heartbeat—he had been living off fast food the past weeks and had smoked a pack and a half of cigarettes that day alone. When they got up their suite, everyone was sitting in the couches around the table and Pepper shoved Tony into a seat.

“Really? An intervention? Guys, I’m _fine_.”

“No, you’re not.” Clint was blunt and to the point. “You are a wreck and we need to help you because we love you, Tony. You’re our friend and it hurts us to see you like this.”

“It’s natural to mourn a relationship, Stark, but this is a little excessive,” Natasha explained. “We’ve all gone through rough breakups.”

“You wanna know what?” Tony snapped. “I’m not just mourning a fucking relationship. Before Steve, I had absolutely fucking nothing. I had no friends, a father who fucking abused me, money that couldn’t buy anything. My life was fucking pointless. But even through all of that, I could turn to inventing and tinkering and shut off the pain of the world.

“But then fucking Steve came along and he was the thing that shut off the pain. When I would wake up screaming, he’d be there. I’ve _always_ been emotionally unstable, whether you all know it or not. He was my coping mechanism, and I now I lost my fucking coping mechanism and I’m left do the the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do without him.

“I didn’t just lose my boyfriend, jackasses, I lost my _best_ friend. He won’t talk to me, he doesn’t text me back. He _unfriended me on Facebook_. Do you know how long it’s been since he even _went_ on Facebook? He logged on for the soul purpose of punching me in the gut. He is so disgusted by me he moved away from all of his friends! I’ll be fine in the long run, but right now you need to all butt out, okay?”

Tony ignored their protests and fled to his room. He locked the door behind him and hoped that Clint had left his key inside. He jumped into bed and buried himself under the covers. He grabbed onto a pillow and bit into it, forcing himself not to scream. He couldn’t tell if he was more angry or sad. Did he hurt or was he numb?

He fell asleep like that, curled around a pillow, his body shaking.

* * *

Tony woke up to the sound of his door closing. Apparently Clint had his keys on him. He sat up, fully prepared to apologize to his friend, but he realized that Clint had  _left_ the room. He was about to open the door when he heard Clint say, “Okay, he’s asleep.” Tony slumped down against the door and listened to his friends’ conversation.

“What are we gonna do? It’s been three weeks.” Natasha said.

“Has Steve cracked at all?” Clint asked.

“No.” She sighed. “He refuses to tell me what happened, only that it was all his fault.” _Yeah, right_ , Tony thought. He rolled his eyes, even though no one could see. 

“Tony said the same thing. That it was his own fault.” There was a long pause. There was a sliver of light peaking through under the door. He could just see the outline of his hands, his legs, his feet. He felt two dimensional. “It’s weird.”

“I know.”

“They were together for over five years, ‘Tasha. They were together before we even knew them.”

“Yeah but Clint, they were high school sweethearts. Did you really think they were going to get _married_?”

“Yeah, I kind of did.”

Natasha sighed. “Do did I.”

It was like Tony was in a vacuum. All at once the air was sucked out of the room. He grabbed his sweatshirt, sprang to the window, opened it up, pushed at the screen, and jumped to the ground. First floor, bitches.

* * *

Tony stared at the No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service sign. Fuckin’ Wal-Mart. He wiggled his toes on the freezing pavement. His hand curled around the money in his pocket as he gnawed on his bottom lip. There was no one coming out of the store that he could pay to get him shoes, because it was two in the morning and no sane human being was at Wal-Mart. He didn’t even know why  _he_ was at Wal-Mart. But he supposed it was fitting because he was  _not_ sane. At least not as of late.

He moved and the motion activated doors opened. “Hey you!” he called to the unfortunate greeter. The woman had to have been standing there for hours, hoping some lonely soul would stumble into the store. “Can you come here?”

“What do you want kid?” she asked.

“Here is two hundred dollars. I need you to go in and buy me a pair of shoes. Men’s 6. You can keep the rest.”

“Why?” she asked.

“Because I don’t have shoes and I want to go into the store, but the sign says I can’t. I was already kicked out once.”

“So why don’t you just pay me to buy you what you want.”

“Because I don’t know what I want. I just need to get into the store.”

“Are you drunk?”

Tony sighed. He was on the verge of tears and he didn’t know why. It was _Wal-Mart_. There was nothing in there he needed. “Please,” he whispered. “Please just get me the shoes.” She shrugged, grabbed the money, and returned a few minutes later with the ugliest shoes she could find. Tony was sure she did it on purpose. “Thank you,” he said, slipping them on his feet.

He walked around aimlessly for two hours, up and down the isles, the only occupant in the store. He saw the workers looking at him, and he was asked eight times if he needed help finding anything. He ignored them until they went away.

He ended up buying a pack of cigarettes, a pink lighter, and a container of paperclips. He wasn’t sure what the paperclips were for, but they gave the illusion of productivity, so he figured why not. The woman who rang him out looked frightened. On his way out, he took off the shoes and threw them in the trashcan. They were ugly and uncomfortable.

As soon as he was outside, he lit a cigarette and leaned against the wall. _Only when I can’t think_ , he heard himself say. It was such a distant memory. He and Steve, so much younger. They had barely known each other. But he had trusted him. Oh, how he had trusted Steve Grant Rogers.

“What are you doing here?” Tony looked up at the voice. _Fuck_.

“Steve,” was all he managed. He tried to sound blasé, but his voice cracked, giving him away. “What are you doing here?” He had to turn it around, because he didn’t have an answer to why he was there. He just had to get out of his room. Get away from his friends talking about him.

“My roommate got drunk and threw up on my desk, then passed out. I need cleaning supplies.”

Tony blew the smoke in Steve’s face. Steve closed his eyes and coughed. It wasn’t nearly as satisfying as Tony had hoped it would be. “So you have a roommate now.”

“Uh, yeah.”

Tony nodded, taking another drag of the cigarette. “Cool.”

“So… how’ve you been?”

Tony, who had been staring at his bare feet scraping against the pavement, looked up. He gave Steve his best Bitch Plz face. “Fabulous, and yourself?”

“Tony,” Steve whispered, reaching out to touch Tony’s arm. As soon as they made contact, Tony yanked his arm back.

“No.”

“Tony—” Instead of listening to whatever Steve was going to say, Tony took off toward campus. His feet hurt against the cold pavement. He looked down at them and they looked red and raw. He ignored the pain and kept walking, throwing the cigarette butt to the ground.

Steve didn’t follow him.

* * *

“Where did you fucking  _go_ ?” Clint asked as soon as Tony got back to the room.

“Wal-Mart.”

“At five in the morning?” he was shouting.

“Shut up. You’re gonna wake everybody up.”

“No, because no one is asleep. They’re all around campus and town searching for our stupid, semi-suicidal best friend.”

“Well you found me. Congrats! You win. Call everyone off duty.”

Tony drowned out Clint’s lecture by smushing one pillow over his face and one under it. He held them down tight until he was able to fall into a restless sleep.

* * *

_“What’s your favorite color?” Tony asked. They were on their roof, his head resting on Steve’s chest. They were both in that hazy state between sleep and not. Tony was tracing shapes onto Steve’s chest._

_“That’s not how you play the game. You’re supposed to ask real questions.”_

_“I think that someone’s favorite color is a real question. Now, hold up, before you protest let me explain myself. You walk by people everyday. They have all of these thoughts going on inside their head. And not just deep, profound thoughts, but regular everyday thoughts. It’s weird to think, but everyone is living inside of their own head._

_“And, of course, it’s fun to dig into the meaty stuff of a person, but what about those everyday thoughts? A person’s favorite color determines what clothes they buy, what their school supplies look like… I don’t know, but I think a favorite color is deep.”_

_“Will you shut up so I can tell you that my favorite color is blue.”_

_“What kind of blue.”_

_“Just… blue. There’s so many different kinds of blue. I like ‘em all. What’s yours.”_

_“Red.”_

_“I had a feeling.”_

* * *

_Tony wasn’t sure why he was sad. Howard was a menace. But no, he wasn’t. Howard wasn’t a bad man, he was just a horrible father. Over the years, Tony often wondered what his relationship would have been like with the man had they met when Tony was older and wasn’t his son. Would Howard approve of him then?_

_He’d never find out because they were lowering the coffin into the ground._

_Steve stood beside him, clenching his hand. He didn’t say anything because there was nothing to say. Steve knew better than any other living soul, Tony and Howard’s relationship. Every once in awhile, Tony would squeeze harder, desperate to feel Steve return squeeze back._

_That afternoon, Steve helped Tony move out of the apartment into the mansion. It would be a shame for no one to live in the house. Tony wished he had thought it through, though, because when Steve dropped a heavy stack of boxes on the floor, the crash echoed through the empty house. Tony would be living here alone._

_Without words, Steve pulled Tony close. Tony wrapped his arms around Steve’s waist and buried his face into Steve’s chest. He couldn't cry, it wasn’t right. Steve just held him and they swayed back and forth. Steve didn’t say it was going to be okay. Those words would mean nothing. Of course, at some point, things would be okay. But that point wasn’t now._

_Tony pulled away, inhaling deeply. He walked to his old room and Steve followed him there. Just as he was about to open the door, he turned to Steve. “I think I need to be alone right now.”_

_Steve pressed a light kiss to Tony’s forehead. “Okay baby, I’ll be here if you need me.”_

_“You should go home.”_

_Steve didn’t respond and Tony disappeared into his room. When he surfaced some six hours later, he found Steve sitting just beside the door. “I think I need you, now.”_

_“Okay.”_

* * *

_They were sweaty and sated. Steve was protectively curled around Tony. “Five years,” Steve whispered in Tony’s ear. “Happy fifth anniversary.”_

_Tony chuckled, the post-sex exhaustion slowly trying to claim him. “Happy fifth anniversary.” They lay there, silent for a moment. They were in the mansion, which wasn’t empty anymore. Tony had brought it to life, raising it from it’s morbid state into what resembled a home. It wasn’t all him, of course. Steve helped. Even Steve’s presence made it a home. “We have to get going. You’re mom’s cooking us dinner. Or have you forgotten, Mr. 21.” Steve placed a kiss between Tony’s shoulder blades. “Don’t change the subject.”_

_“You’re the master at changing the subject,” Steve whispered into Tony’s ear._

_“We have to shower before we go, you know. We’re all sweaty.”_

_“It’s not like she doesn’t know what we’re doing.”_

_Tony hummed and Steve started to nibble on his ear. “I thought you were supposed to be the reasonable one.”_

_“Oops.”_

* * *

When Tony woke up he was clenching his pillow white knuckle tight. He wasn’t sure what time it was, or even what day it was, but he got out of bed and grabbed his shower things. He slumped the whole way there, but he made it and managed to clean himself. When he got back to the room, he found clean clothes to put on. 

When he was gelling his hair back, he asked JARVIS what his schedule was for the day. JARVIS recited the classes Tony had to attend and their times. He was almost late, but if he was quick, he could make it in time. He grabbed his laptop, books, and backpack. He reached for the pack of cigarettes but decided against it.

He needed to fight for what he wanted, and what he wanted was Steve. You can’t stop knowing someone who’s been your world for half of a decade; a quarter of your life. He couldn’t give up, not yet. He was the one that ran, he was the first to ignore, he had to be the one to take the first step back.

To do that, he needed to get his life back together.

* * *

He texted everyone and told the to meet him at 6:30 in their suite and to not eat dinner. He didn’t know how to cook, but he didn’t know how to order in. He called the local Chinese restaurant and got everyone’s favorites.

Soon, the entirety of his suite mates were sitting around, eating straight from the containers. Clint was once again telling the story about how he climbed out of a seventh story window naked because an RA came into the room of the girl he was sleeping with. Everyone was laughing excitedly when suddenly—

“Um, can I come in?” All heads turned to Steve standing in the doorway, then whipped back to look at Tony. There was a long moment where no one said anything.

Tony realized everyone was waiting on him. “Yes.” Steve relaxed and smiled. He started towards the couches, but stopped. He had always sat next to Tony on one of the couches. It was _their_ couch. Pepper had walked in on them having sex on that couch. “You can… if you want.”

Steve smiled graciously and Tony couldn’t help the way his heart started to pound. And then Steve was sitting next to him and he could smell Steve’s cologne and oh my God. Tony stood and retreated to his room. It was all happening so fast

He had been doing so well. He had showered and went to class and socialized. He was working on it but it was too much, too soon. He started to panic. He went to his desk and all but ripped the drawer off of it’s hinges. He grabbed the pack of cigarettes he had bought the night before along with the lighter, and opened the window. 

“What are you doing?” Tony turned towards Steve’s voice. He already had one leg out the window and the cigarette hanging between his lips. He was frozen, unable to leave the room or go back in. Steve walked up to him and took the cigarette out of his mouth before helping him back into the room.

“Why did you come?”

“I thought you invited me?”

“What I would never—you must still be in the group that I sent the text out to.”

“So you don’t want me here?”

“I just tried to climb out the window, Steve. I think that’s a pretty dead giveaway.”

“But you said I could come in. You said I could sit next to you.”

“I can’t say no to you. It’s you who says no to…”

It was as if someone turned off the light switch inside of Steve, because suddenly his face was dark and his body was slack. They could hear their friends’ breathing on the other side of the door as they not-so-discreetly fought to hear the conversation.

“Tony, I—”

* * *

_“Marry me,” Tony murmured, kissing his way down Steve’s chest. He felt Steve’s muscles tighten under his touch and he sat up. “What?”_

_“Did you just say—”_

_“Yeah. I asked you to marry me.” Tony’s heart started pounding. This was not how this was supposed to go. Steve was supposed to say yes, kiss him hard, roll him over, make love to him again._

_“But we’re just kids.”_

_“Are you saying… what are you saying?”_

_“Well, I mean… we’ve never been with anyone else. We’ve been together since we were sixteen. And we’re still so young, what if—”_

_“So basically what you’re saying is that we’ve been doomed to fail since day one?”_

_“No, that’s not what—”_

_“Because all that I hear is that we’ve been together for five years, and that I’ve been holding you back from trying other people.”_

_“Tony, please. I just think a marriage proposal is a little out of the blue.”_

_“Relationships generally have two options, Steve. We either break up or get married. One or the other is bound to happen, and I’d rather we get married because I love you so fucking much and—”_

_“Tony, I love you, too, but I’m not ready to get married.”_

_The air left Tony’s body. “So… I guess that means we’re breaking up.”_

_“Yeah. I guess it does.”_

* * *

Tony was crying. He wasn't talking or trying to pretend that he wasn’t. He just stood there and let his whole body shake. All of a sudden, Steve was pulling him closer. His brain was screaming to pull away—telling him that it was just going to result in heartbreak—but Steve’s touch was so familiar and so warm and exactly what Tony needed. Tony let himself be held by Steve.

“Why’d you say no?” Tony’s voice was tired, defeated.

Steve took Tony’s face in his hands and tipped his head back. “I didn’t say no, Tony. I just didn’t say yes.”

“I don’t see a difference,” Tony mumbled. He tried to turn away, but Steve’s firm grasp kept Tony’s face looking at him.

“I love you, Tony Stark, with all that I am.”

“You think,” Tony sniffled again. He ran the back of his hand under his nose to try and wipe away some of the remnants of his breakdown. “You think you can come in here and just… tell me that… Steve, you broke me. I was so fucked up and I… I don’t think I can lose you again.”

“You aren’t going to lose me.”

“What about never being with anyone else?”

“I don’t have to have been with other people to know that I am in love with you. Someday I would be honored to marry you, but can we wait a few years?”

Tony bit his lip to hold back tears, but these were the good kind. He nodded his head because his voice didn’t seem to want to work. Steve leaned down and Tony parted his lips. Tony’s hands found their way to rest behind Steve’s neck. He let out a low moan—not sexy, not hungry, but happy. Steve pulled back and kissed Tony’s nose.

They jumped apart when the door burst open. “I can’t take it anymore. This is all because Tony asked you to marry him?” Clint shouted. “You two are such fucking idiots.”

“I’m going to have to side with Clint on this one,” Natasha admitted.

“You always side with him,” Tony grumbled. “You two share a brain.”

Everyone was still as they tried to figure out the next course of action. “Can we have a moment alone?” Steve asked, finally. Clint, Natasha, Thor, Pepper, and Bruce slowly backed out of the room, closing the door behind them. “So… what does this mean?”

“I don’t know.” Tony sighed. “I think we’re getting back together.”

“Don’t sound so enthusiastic.”

“I love you, you piece of shit,” Tony joked, shoving Steve’s arm. His hand went up and rested beside Steve’s head. “I love you, Steven Grant Rogers.”

“I will never get sick of hearing that.”

Tony grinned and cackled as Steve picked him up and slug him over his shoulder.


End file.
